Everything Wrong with the New Blade Runner
Blade Runner 2049 opened earlier this month, and fans of the original were disappointed to say the least. I have compiled a list of grievances that many fans, including myself, had with the film.
Ryan Gosling's Character Isn't Polite Enough
The second I saw Ryan Gosling's character, K, (dumb name, it's just a letter) in that "cool guy" jacket, I knew I wasn't going to like this film. A gentleman tucks his shirt in, but Ryan "Wild Man" Gosling made sure that his shirttail was flowing in the wind for the whole movie. Furthermore, when someone who was his elder entered a room, he didn't stand up out of respect. Add to this the fact that I never once observed him asking for permission to be excused from table during suppertime, and you've got a very rude protagonist. Kind of makes it hard to root for him, doesn't it?
The Director Doesn't Come Out and Remind Us That We're Watching a Movie
Movies can be very scary, especially when they involve robots pretending to be real humans, like in 2049. The whole time I watched, I kept forgetting it was a movie and got really scared. I would have greatly appreciated a couple scenes where director Denis Villeneuve comes out from behind the scenes and addresses the camera. "It's okay, this is just a movie, don't be too scared, shhhh shhhh shhhh." Something like that. With a runtime of nearly two hours and forty-five minutes, it's inexcusable that they couldn't find any time to put these scenes in.
No Sharks
Sharks are some of the ocean's most beautiful and misunderstood creatures, but you wouldn't know it from watching Blade Runner 2049. And I sat through the credits to see if there was a scene with one at the end; don't waste your time, there wasn't.
Harrison Ford Gives Too Much Effort
The reason that films like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Star Wars: The Force Awakens are so beloved is that fans enjoy going to the theater to see just how little their once-favorite actor cares about his most current project. In Blade Runner 2049, there certainly are plenty of those wonderful moments where we realize, "Oh yeah, Harrison Ford must have REALLY not wanted to be on set the day they shot this scene," but the film isn't comprised of them, which is an utter disappointment to say the least.
Too Many Missed Opportunities
So the sequel, like the original, takes place in Los Angeles. This gives the film a LOT of things to play with. For instance, why not have K come across real-life actor Ryan Gosling's hand and footprints at the Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard? Then he can look in the camera and say something funny, like, "This guy must have been a PRETTY big deal." Also, one of my favorite things about being in LA is ordering an In-N-Out hamburger, animal style. Yet the legendary hamburger chain isn't even mentioned in the film! At the very least, I would have liked to see Deckard go to the Santa Monica Pier and win a stuffed Minion prize. It felts as though the writers just didn't understand the city in which the story took place.
Fans waited 35 years for a continuation of the story first introduced to us in Blade Runner. Maybe in another 35 years they can actually get it right.
